i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
