You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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