Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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