She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
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but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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