The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
vagina is talking i cant
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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