These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize