im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
it was like having sex with a tree stump
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
