Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
