If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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