Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited

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(413): I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited http://tfl.nu/vv7z

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(502): View more from Kentucky

And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs

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(502): And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs http://tfl.nu/2r8e

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?

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(709): so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much? http://tfl.nu/jwju

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(816): View more from Missouri

is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex

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(816): is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex http://tfl.nu/zw16

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(443): View more from Maryland

The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.

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(443): The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of. http://tfl.nu/c44a

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(706): View more from Georgia

This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.

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(706): This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules. http://tfl.nu/2gj5

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(478): View more from Georgia

All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."

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(478): All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk." http://tfl.nu/3sim

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.

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(864): Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded. http://tfl.nu/5fxu

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

How have you survived this long?

(479): View more from Arkansas

Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.

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(479): Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever. (1-479): How have you survived this long? (479): Dumb luck and a deal with the devil. http://tfl.nu/0es8

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(785): View more from Kansas

apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man

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(785): apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man http://tfl.nu/lmge

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(+61): View more from Australia

we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood

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(+61): we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood http://tfl.nu/ba4y

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(614): View more from Ohio

my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat

(614): View more from Ohio

repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES

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(614): my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat (614): repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES http://tfl.nu/9vr3

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.

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(601): Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though. http://tfl.nu/pqgx

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(905): View more from Ontario

foreskin is a definite game changer

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(905): foreskin is a definite game changer http://tfl.nu/oi5r

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(310): View more from California

i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20

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(310): i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20 http://tfl.nu/ve2e

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