1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.