i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini