return my video game
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.