Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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