is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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