Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
