It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize