Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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