i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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