Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
