But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
