Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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