and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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