Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
