Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
