i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i will never coherently bang her
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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