At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
