no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
