The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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