So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
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we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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