Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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