I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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