i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize