Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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