3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
