haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
