i need an iv and a liver transplant
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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