just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
