Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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