Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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