She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm just crazy horny about you
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Bring me that man meat
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
