i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just want nice things and good sex
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
