what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
