Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
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i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
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Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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