When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
