Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
