i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
