I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
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