so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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