so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
