she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize