Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
