Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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