last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
