Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
