Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize