WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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