are you still at the devil's house?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
