She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
